When I first began this healing journey, I had know idea what was in store for me (and frankly, for those around me!).
Cancer triggered my new goal in life, to heal and to stop the frustration of feeling that I am not what or who I thought I would be by now. What I discovered immediately was that cancer was only the tip of the iceberg. And that healing is an ongoing process, every day, almost of every minute of the day.
Sometimes I wonder with a sigh if living blindly would have been easier. Of course, in the long run, it would not have been, but I do admit it can be exhausting at times. Like yesterday when I considered throwing in the old smelly dish towel.
This is how I usually feel after visiting and spending a long time with family. We often work through issues that come up and feel and believe they have been addressed, “fixed” to some degree. Well, it feels great especially if family, or what triggers us, lives far away and not part of our daily routine. Out of sight, out of mind can sometimes feel resolved. Family is here to remind us that we are not done with that issue yet! Thank you family. No, truly, I mean it.
Family brings up emotions we thought were taken care of, healed, but come to realize have only been suppressed. Serious stuff like the ability to develop healthy relationships, self esteem, money issues, the chance to really find happiness without guilt and shame. Each time I visit home, I am reminded of this. Distance and avoidance can play serious tricks on the heart. I can pretend, I can run, I can live 3000 miles away from home. But when I return, so too does: the guilt of not having grandchildren for my mother, choosing to live so far away from her even though she would never have left her mother, sibling battles, self esteem issues involving past and present decisions, sibling insults we throw at each other stemming from old childhood pain, and most important, the idea that there is financial lack and hardship and money is stressful and secretive and worth fighting about…..Augh, I thought we took care of all of this shit!
Breathe. Relax shoulders. Think love. And the gift of Reiki. Yes, the answer to all of life, good and difficult. The memories and pictures of last week’s visit flood my mind and fill me with those unpleasant feelings of anxiety, sadness, guilt, shame….. Overly dramatic, perhaps, but my body’s way of telling me these issues are not yet resolved and may hold me back. Childhood experiences, adult experiences with the old family beliefs, affect my choices and perpetuate my fears.
This is where Reiki saves my life, again.
I call in the healing energy, hold it to my heart, and ask for gentle, soothing comfort. I ask to replace the uncovered pain with love and healing energy. This does not make it disappear. It adds new perspective to old wounds. It transforms my view from victim to observer. Painful triggers and memories are easier to look at as an observer-it is more likely to watch or replay in this role as fewer emotions will arise. What was learned? What can be done to change it for next time? What was I needing and not getting? What was the other person needing and feeling?
Reiki balances emotions so that any issue can be viewed from a less traumatic lens. Thinking of family while using Reiki is a tool like no other. My relapses after visiting home are shorter since I have adopted my Reiki practice. And I do believe that while with family, I am able to stay grounded and centered more often than not by calling in Reiki during stressful moments.
Every family has stressful moments. Reiki can give us freedom from the cords that bind us. Feel free to contact me if you have questions about how Reiki can help you break away from the old ways of how you work with your family. http://www.insyncenergy.com. Distance healings are always available.You may discover a whole new world that can include loving and spending time with even the toughest of family members. Family is a big part of life. We can find ways to enjoy all family has to offer us. As I am reminded often, without family, we wouldn’t be here 😉