You know that feeling, a strong pull in your gut, an inner voice giving you advice. Your intuition. Intuition is a knowing without having to research the reasoning behind it. This is inner knowledge you can feel your body connect with that, without too much energy and contemplation, simply clicks. We are all born with an inner knowing and our bodies are designed to inform us of this connection and realization immediately without the need for conscious reasoning. I keep reading intuition is like a muscle. If you practice using it, it expands and develops to become a stronger part of who you are. The more it develops, the more you begin trusting what it is telling you. Really, what YOU are telling you. Here are 6 steps you can take that help to exercise and reconnect with that part of you that sometimes goes underused and undervalued: 1) Meditate Give yourself time weekly, if not daily, to sit quietly. Discover your own form of meditation. 2) Reiki ***(receiving Reiki sessions and learning how to do self-Reiki treatments) My favorite. This form of healing and energy work supports your life force energy within, tapping directly into your intuition which is the mind to body connection. The flow of life force energy that Reiki generates awakens a tangible sensation within your body. Even though it may be quiet and subtle, it is a divine form of communication from your heart to your brain. 3) Practice gratitude Before going to sleep each night, consider what you have to be thankful for in this life 4) Spend time outside If there is ever going to be a surefire way and time to connect to an inner voice, outdoors where the senses come alive is the ticket 5) Be creative Write, paint, pick up some clay, dance, put a collage together of beautiful pictures and give rise to your imagination 6) Yoga Some of the poses encourage the third eye chakra to open up, the emotional center for intuitive thoughts ***To learn more about Reiki, tap onto this link and begin tapping into your inner knowing: www.InsyncEnergy.com
As many of us experience, sometimes visiting family can be quite shocking to the system-energetically and emotionally. Even if it is just because there is a change in our normal routine, the whole body can be sent out of wack, spiraling downward into a puddle of mush on the floor. That is where I found myself this morning.
With each return after a visit home as an adult, it is taking a shorter amount of time for me to readjust back to ‘normalcy’. We grow and change and sometimes our family likes things the way they are, well, were. I decided to stop trying to make them change, to see things my way. I love them how they are and I recognize offering health or wellness advice creates much anxiety for them. Rather than making it a battle trying to convince them of all I learned during and after cancer, I must just be there and just BE when I visit.
It isn’t easy though. But I have stopped trying to prove anything or force my opinions on them. And no matter how much I’ve grown, or how I behave when I am 3,000 miles away, there is something about being with family, those who knew me as I was, that makes me revert right back to childhood behaviors. The lack of confidence bubbles back up to the surface, the fears and doubts of my adult choices rush back into my head and gut.
Each visit I believe I can avoid returning to my 13 year old self. But by day 3, there she is, shy, frightened, doubtful 13 year old Dar. I cry, yell, and wave my hands around when my perspective is overlooked. I grow impatient and frustrated and short tempered. And then it happens. Mom cries. And reminds me how she only gets to see me twice a year and she never knows when will be the last time because I live so far away and……. I didn’t give her grandchildren. Then the Jewish guilt rolls in like a tsunami!
I spend the evenings repeating in my head that I am the best daughter I can be while I live the life that is best for me. If I lived the life my mom wanted me to (which I actually did try to do!), I would live right around the corner from her in a town that is really for senior citizens, have a kid or 2, and would probably still be a teacher. In other words, I would be miserable living the life she dreams for me (for her). Healthy for absolutely no one. Which is why I cannot do exactly what she wants. Which is why, during each visit, I succumb to Jewish guilt, not being the daughter my mom was for her mom. I accept it now but still feel her disappointment.
I come home to my husband and dogs carrying a boulder on my back. Returning to my life usually takes a long time and literally feels like stepping out of a black hole all discombobulated and living the lives of the childhood Dar and the adult healthier Darlene. Day one or 2 is the big release, about an hour of crying and letting it all out. I pay tribute to the child who continues to reappear, asking for healing and unconditional love. She was always loved, just so overprotected that she was taught and learned to be fearful of everything and anything. I teach her that it’s ok to step out of what everyone else is doing but she does get reprimanded by her mom. I continue to role model for her, regardless of what her family tells her. And I certainly keep making mistakes. But I can tell her that’s ok to do. That’s experiencing life. That’s stepping out so that each time she does, it is less and less scary and more and more exciting. That’s where learning takes place.
Now, my biggest lesson was having cancer. If it had been up to my mom, obviously, it wouldn’t have happened. However, if it hadn’t, I would not have discovered my life’s purpose, my intuitive gifts, my abilities to help others heal and laugh and grow and find their life’s purpose. I can’t imagine not having had that experience 8 years ago, who I would be right now, not having the life or friends I have or the most important knowledge and wisdom that came from what happened. I take that perspective when I start feeling guilty about not being able to do what mom says would make her happy. Sometimes we have to go through uncomfortable circumstances to learn and grow and also be able to relate to the rest of the world.
I am happy for the good, bad, and ugly. I am thankful for going home and having that child resurface so I can heal her and grow stronger as an adult. I love my family and understand each visit will be an opportunity for hopefully all of us to learn and grow. I am lucky for people who love me so much, who want me close by, who want to hold me and never let me go. My mom is a Jewish mother angel who I know is and will always be there for me no matter what, even if I didn’t give her grandchildren ;-).
TIPS FOR VISITING FAMILY:
USE YOUR TIME IN THE BATHROOM AS YOUR QUIET SANCTUARY (ALTHOUGH MY MOM TALKS THROUGH DOORS)
COUNT TO 10. OR 20 IF YOU HAVE TO
LEARN REIKI SO YOU CAN DE-STRESS UNDER ANY SITUATION! http://www.insyncenergy.com/Reiki-Training.html
In my previous post, I talked about bravery, the act of doing something that frightens us. This can be anything outside your comfort zone. For me, when I was little, it was asking the McDonald’s cashier for a packet of ketchup! Well, while praying and crossing my heart to Jesus yesterday as I drove home in a scary snow storm, I opened some exciting, creative pathways on the subject of being brave (yes, this experience of snow driving had something to do with stirring up some more brave in me!).
So, for the month of February, I am going to offer the “Get Your Brave On!” Challenge for my supportive and brave community. When I post, “It’s time to get your brave on,” there will be a fun activity to take part in as you step out of your box for the day. Those who participate will be entered in a drawing to win a free Energetic Reboot Healing Session from Insync Energy! This healing session can be done no matter where you are, remotely or in office. Here’s the link to read more about that: http://www.insyncenergy.com/Energetic_Reboot_3.html.
Our first exercise! Today’s “Get Your Brave On” exercise is to think about something you have done, in the past or recently, that you felt brave for accomplishing. To share your thoughts on reaching into your brave self, you can either enter comments here on the blog or fill out the contact form to send my way. Remember, your experiences can inspire others, too! It doesn’t have to be something like running into a burning building; mine was asking for ketchup at McDonald’s when I was 10! You can include how that felt, what emotions arose for you, how did your body respond to before and after your act of being brave?
Thank you so much for jouneying along with me to unleash and honor your brave, my friends. I’m excited to read your comments!
Light and Blessings
From the time we are born there are expectations, labels, beliefs, and ideas that we soak up and are etched into our brains, even our DNA! Expectations like roles men and women SHOULD play, beliefs that come along with a family’s religion and upbringing, the greater consciousness that there is so much fear and hate in the world and the economy is on the brink of disaster.
What were you told you SHOULD do and be? How were you told to treat people who are different and act in a way other than what society ‘accepts’ to be the norm? Do you ever feel like you didn’t fit into your family’s belief system/religion or disagreed with your culture’s ‘rules’ of behavior yet went along with it anyway to belong?
There’s a reason you felt that way! You have your own ideas and wisdom and inner knowing of what can be. Inside you may be very different from what your family or culture has told you. Undoubtedly, you are much, much more than anyone, including yourself, has ever imagined. Underneath all of those layers of somebody else’s ideas, beliefs, thoughts, and ‘rules’, you shine your own beautiful light!
Do you feel this? Are you aching to come out of your shell? Is it growing too tight and constricting your creativity and possibilities?
Are you beyond your ‘just accepting my fate’ attitude? Your body and spirit feel like they need to break free once and for all!
It’s time to unravel those old layers that don’t even belong to you, my friend. That’s why they can be disposed of, released back to whom they belong.
If you are ready to remove the cultural veil, reveal what’s hidden beneath, meet and nurture the real YOU, I do believe you have come to the right place at this moment in your life for a reason. And once you discover YOU, you do attract a community; there is always a place to belong and it feels much more like home if those in your circle understand you, with whom you instantly find comfort and acceptance.
There is work to be done. It can be fun and difficult and entertaining and powerful all at the same time. But, by gollie, it can happen. Bless the layers, lose the nonsense, and learn how to get insync with your OWN energy, your OWN ideas, your OWN soul’s desires and purpose. If this excites you and you would like to learn more, you’re invited to visit www.InsyncEnergy.com
As I sat in my hotel room the night before my surgery, I thought of the oncologist and his lack of eye contact that afternoon. It made me shiver thinking about how important his job is yet his aloof and uninterested presentation in his office left me feeling so alone, frightened, unloved. Shouldn’t it be part of their bedside manner to give their cancer patients a sense of comfort, at least a gentle reassuring touch? Where was the compassion? Then I remembered, as I closed my eyes in the bed in my hotel room in Boston— that first week back in Portland, frozen, scared, and finally crawling out from my dark corner. I had been guided that week to what would become my answer, my source of compassion, my hope and faith, my life’s purpose…..
A few days after my diagnosis, Ray and I found an apartment in Portland and were able to leave the hotel. I tried to settle into our new home, across the country from my friends and my family. I was so grateful to be out of the one room at the hotel and to have the nights to myself, in a separate room from where Ray slept. I appreciated my dark corner where I spent the wee hours of the morning grieving and trying to catch my breath.
I sat in the peace of the night, allowing my body to quiver and shake. I called to God to help me relax. I imagined the angels and a warm white light surrounding me. When I was a little girl, I was terrified of the dark, being in the blanket of black without any signs of life. I felt unsafe and exposed to an unknown world. I was experiencing the fear of the unknown world but this time for a different reason. I remembered what my brother had taught me when I was younger to help me get over being afraid in the dark, of the dark. His white light trick gave me the power to make it through the nights that first week. I even felt comforted by the gentle caress of the angels; for the first time, the blackness and the quiet felt like velvet. I sunk into that and allowed the black hole of fear that had been in the pit of my stomach transform into a gentle knowing that no matter what, it was going to be ok.
During the day I tried to forget what was happening inside my body. I kept busy setting up my new classroom. My new boss was less than thrilled that I her new teacher was diagnosed with cancer and had to fly back to Boston only weeks into the school year. It was my first experience having to let go of what someone else was thinking of me so that I could focus on taking care of myself.
When I had free time, I spent it watching movies, trying to distract myself and ignore the fear I was carrying. I also walked to the bookstore near my new home and was guided to find the self-healing/alternative healing aisle. There, in front of me, I found the answer to all of my questions, then, now, and forever! The title jumped out at me like a neon sign: The Reiki Sourcebook by Bronwen and Frans Stiene. I had never heard of this before but I pulled the book off the shelf and read it like it was medicine, soaking in every word, feeling every Japanese Kanji character, breathing in the hope and light that emanated from the pages. In that moment, everything changed. My life would never be the same. And I knew right then and there as I sat on the floor in the self-healing aisle at Borders in August, 2005. Reiki. Reiki was going to make it ok that the oncologist couldn’t give me hope or compassion. Reiki was going to dissipate the fear. Reiki was going to get me through this. Reiki would nurture and comfort me through hell and back again. And Reiki would be my life’s purpose. Reiki, it is the way of my soul…..
More helpful information about health and wellness can be found by visiting www.facebook.com/InsyncEnergy
Ray and I when we moved into our first home in Portland, Oregon.
My cancer story—I was struck by some photos I saw today of a man who recorded his wife’s cancer battle with his camera. I thought I had healed from my story. I’ve told it a hundred times. Actually felt since it wasn’t so horrendous as losing a breast or an organ, maybe my cancer story wasn’t bad or strong enough. Even with cancer, I am sharing with you here, I compared myself to others and thought mine wasn’t the most important story. I am not good enough, I did not suffer enough to make a difference with my story. I looked deeper into my soul after seeing the photos of this woman dying from breast cancer. What I heard was, “You are not yet healed. Someone else is not yet healed. Your story is significant. We all have a story that can help someone else, even if we aren’t aware of who, when, or why. Just write it and heal yourself.”
I decided to write it in increments, not the entire story. It happened in stages. Different lessons were learned during each stage. That’s how I will present it. So, here it is, as I play Sara Bareilles on my laptop, starting with my favorite song, “Brave”, I write my cancer story, not comparing mine to theirs, but to release it and heal. If someone else finds comfort, love to you.
Cancer. Why some die yet others survive. Life is a mystery but cancer is strikingly provocative. Its power can take hold of an entire family, grip everyone in its path, and devastate lives like a tsunami. That’s what it feels like, especially at first. A natural disaster. There are those first few days where the fear and hell have you in shock, frozen dead in your tracks. The not knowing how bad it is, how deep is it, how far has it enveloped the body? There is a point where you can’t breathe, can’t remember the last time you ate or washed.
The week I was diagnosed, I sat in the dark each night, in the corner of a strange room. Ray and I had just moved across country and were living in a hotel when I heard the news. During that week we found an apartment. But that dark corner where I had never been before felt like home, felt like the perfect place to hide from the fear in the complete darkness of the night. Yet, the fear was still there, no matter where I hid, the fear followed me. I called Grandma and there she was, sitting right next to me, as she had been since she passed, holding my arm telling me it was really going to be ok, that I could do this. I believed her but the fear still sat in my chest.
Waiting for the doctors to ‘get their act together’ was the worst waiting game I had ever played. I had to fly back to Boston for surgery because I jumped on cobra insurance seeing as my new job here in Portland didn’t offer any. Doctors, operating room schedules, plane and hotel reservations. With grandma’s help from the other side, I was able to muster the courage and chutzpah to get it all arranged. So unlike me to take charge like that. Already quite the learning experience.
A few weeks later, I found myself back home where I had just moved from. I was thankful to be where I knew the landscape, friends, stores, culture. But it still felt like an out of body experience-the fear still gripped me even though I was home again. It didn’t matter that I knew the places to eat, where to buy food, where people would recognize me and give me a big hug. I couldn’t get over this pit in my stomach. Mom flew up from Florida to be with me. She did great, normally not the peaceful, calm sort of person one would want around during such a situation. Worry and anxiety plagues the Jewish family. She did well to cover it up this time which I appreciated because there wasn’t anyone else I would want with me when facing cancer and surgery.
The day came to meet the oncologist. Nice Jewish name, I was glad of that. I was disappointed with his lack of bedside manner, however, not looking at me during the first meeting. He felt cold and uninterested. His casual demeanor upset me. His lack of eye contact really got my goat. Then he made a passing comment, which, if he did make eye contact, probably would have noticed something important. He said, “I am not concerned with the size of your melanoma. It is under average and should just be a quick removal of what’s left of it after the biopsy. I would only be concerned if someone was Ashkenazi (This means of Jewish descent from Russia/Eastern Europe, exactly where my ancestors were from!)”. When I replied, “Um, I am Ashkenazi, doctor.” That’s when he put his clipboard down and actually made eye contact….. His lack of concern and disinterest quickly turned into, what was that in his eyes? An ‘uh oh.’ Fear encapsulated his gaze. At least he was finally looking at me!
This month and all of July I felt as if I have been clawing my way to the top, trying desperately to find the way out of the cavernous whole I seemed to be in. Figuratively and literally searching for air to breathe. Sometimes, when faced with what appears to be a problem, is the Universe giving you the way out.
Unfortunately, for me this time, since I was already in that ‘fight or flight’ mode mentally and emotionally, my answer from the Universe to get out of the airless cavern caused panic attacks and actual airway tightening, unable to breathe body symptoms.
I would think that after being told I had cancer 8 years ago, that nothing would ever feel quite like that again. But, to my surprise, this message did feel that way. Fear, doubt, anxiety-holy crap! It is lasting longer than my reaction did to a cancer diagnosis.
As I search for peace and a doorway leading me to the fresh air, the messages I keep hearing again and again, from friends, intuitive readings I have been seeking, and from my own intuition, is CREATE A VISION OF WHAT MY DREAMS AND INTENTIONS LOOK LIKE. THE UNIVERSE WILL PROVIDE IF I SHOW IT WHAT I WANT TO CREATE.
For this month, I invite you to join me in envisioning something you want to manifest in your life right now. We can begin with something small. Imagine, find a picture of what it looks like-google images and see if you can find the perfect picture to focus on that represents what you would like. Let’s focus on that image, let’s allow our brain to believe we have it. Feel it, conjure the emotions around what it would feel like to have. Dance with that in your heart and soul. Live as if it already is.
I’ve done this before and sometimes I forget how easy it can be.
Here I go again. I have chosen my first image. Have you? Join me and share below. I would love to hear how it goes for you! I am a Warrior persevering through it all, successfully and joyfully.
If you feel as if you require healing around what you would like to manifest, if you believe you are not good enough, smart enough, creative enough, I say bologna! We are all divine beings and our creator truly wants us to experience happiness and feel success and love. I can quickly help you step beyond this initial block with a 10 minute guided meditation your angels walk you through! Interested in learning more: http://www.insyncenergy.com/Contact_Me.html
Imagine, have fun with it, be a kid again! Love to you on your journey!