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Girls, Reiki, and Lemonade

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When the world hands us lemons, what is a girl to do?

The answer to this question will provoke many opinions on the subject. Believe it or not, much of it will depend on one’s childhood and the role models she has had throughout life. That’s not to say, if it is an unfavorable reply, that you cannot then decide to expand your perspectives and become more creative and confident whenever you choose, regardless of the past. I write this blog about confidence and girls as a veteran teacher with many years of observing girls and ways of behaving in the classroom.  And as a girl and adult with very little confidence until my 40’s.

Now, you might ask, “What does being confident have to do with how I answer this question about being handed lemons?”  Thank you for asking. It has everything to do with it.

There are across the board associations people have with lemons. The first is often the color yellow. A common second meaning, one that I feel determines a low level of confidence and self-esteem, is the fact that lemons are very sour and are likely associated with not tasting very good or being duds, flops, or mistakes.

A person with low self-esteem often considers the disapproving aspects of an issue. If she does not have positive feelings of self-worth and judges herself regularly, her view of the outside world will reflect that. Someone with low self-esteem, I predict, would first respond to the world giving her lemons with an unenthusiastic and downbeat reply such as, “Oh great! Of course. More duds for me. It figures I am always being given something that doesn’t work. That’s what I attract, duds and failures.”

Now, a girl with healthy self-esteem and confidence in herself, a girl who recognizes her own worthiness, radiates happiness and a bright outlook of the world. Ask this girl, “What do you do when the world hands you lemons?” She most likely would reply, “I can make lemonade, add it to my water to make it more refreshing, and squeeze it on apples so they last longer. Lemons smell citrusy and leave a clean scent in the air.”

Pretty different, right? The same word, lemon, eliciting very opposite reactions depending on someone’s level of self-esteem. Having been a teacher for so 23 years, it was my observation that girls with low self-esteem, timidity, and little confidence in themselves lead to an attitude of being wounded or a sufferer. Whereas the girls with confidence and certainty were enthusiastic, passionate, and noticeably comfortable in social situations.

I go back to my childhood and reveal to you that I was the girl who did not look favorably at the idea of being given lemons. I would have seen only the negative connotations and would have gotten stuck there, as a sufferer, wounded, helpless, doomed. Yup, the lowest of self-esteem on the block.

My mom coddled and protected me. I hid behind her comfort, ran to her when it got too rough. Stayed frightened and wounded. Allowed suffering to stir and boil. I love my mom dearly. She did what she thought was best and wanted to be protective of her children, not ever wanting us to feel pain or defeat. Secluded in that protective bubble didn’t give me the answers I needed as an adolescent or adult. That bubble kept me safe from the outside world but not my inner critic. I saw no value in myself. I had no skills to cope with disappointment, or lemons. I was a frightened middle schooler and teenager. I was a terrified adult making impulsive decisions without considering my self-respect. Choices and outcomes were simply because it was what I deserved. Abusive relationships, panic attacks, and frustration. Settling for what I was handed. Jealous of what others seemingly had and I didn’t.

Something shifted. I can’t say exactly when. I can’t pinpoint the exact age other than it was definitely in my late 30’s. I do know what instigated it. Reiki. I committed to healing. I decided it was time to look at why I experienced life through the eyes of a sufferer. I no longer wanted to be wounded. I let Reiki, this gentle, life force energy, flow through me and show me what to do. This healing healed the physical me, migraines and chronic digestive issues . Reiki softened and balanced the emotional aches and pains I carried as a child of divorce and insecurity and confusion. Reiki helped give me mental clarity. Reiki introduced me to my guides, the angels, the most amazing people in the world, faith, trust, and most important, my inner power and courage. Reiki put all the pieces together as it healed on all levels. I am now whole, balanced, confident, and sure.  Reiki, even though I am infinitely grateful for now, would have been so powerful to have as a girl enduring low self-esteem and fears of a big insensitive world .

If there was something I could give and wish for all girls to have, it would be Reiki. With Reiki, a girl could experience feeling whole, hopeful, spiritually protected and safe, and always having a tool to help somehow, in some way, the world which she is a part of. Reiki is a gift one has forever, a gift one has to share every day of her life. That sure is a confidence booster. Consider this for any young girls in your life. It just may be the gift she cherishes more than any she ever receives. A gift that reflects stability, assurance, self-love, and the enthusiasm and creativity to turn lemons into lemonade!

Please visit my website for more info about Reiki and the infinite benefits. If you are in Portland, Oregon, I am offering a free talk on how Reiki can assist you with self-esteem, confidence, and self-love. I highly recommend we include girls in the power of Reiki. http://www.insyncenergy.com/Special_Events.html. Join us on Sunday, May 19th at 11:00AM-12:00PM.

If you would like to hear more how we can work together, for you and your daughter, contact me for a free 15 minute consultation. I have extensive training in education and hold a Master’s of Science in Family Support and Parenting Education from Wheelock College in Boston, Massachusetts. I would love to be of service.

Have a beautiful May!


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When I first began this healing journey, I had know idea what was in store for me (and frankly, for those around me!).

Cancer triggered my new goal in life, to heal and to stop the frustration of feeling that I am not what or who I thought I would be by now. What I discovered immediately was that cancer was only the tip of the iceberg. And that healing is an ongoing process, every day, almost of every minute of the day.

Sometimes I wonder with a sigh if living blindly would have been easier. Of course, in the long run, it would not have been, but I do admit it can be exhausting at times. Like yesterday when I considered throwing in the old smelly dish towel.

This is how I usually feel after visiting and spending a long time with family. We often work through issues that come up and feel and believe they have been addressed, “fixed” to some degree. Well, it feels great especially if family, or what triggers us, lives far away and not part of our daily routine. Out of sight, out of mind can sometimes feel resolved. Family is here to remind us that we are not done with that issue yet! Thank you family. No, truly, I mean it.

Family brings up emotions we thought were taken care of, healed, but come to realize have only been suppressed. Serious stuff like the ability to develop healthy relationships, self esteem, money issues, the chance to really find happiness without guilt and shame. Each time I visit home, I am reminded of this. Distance and avoidance can play serious tricks on the heart. I can pretend, I can run, I can live 3000 miles away from home. But when I return, so too does: the guilt of not having grandchildren for my mother, choosing to live so far away from her even though she would never have left her mother, sibling battles, self esteem issues involving past and present decisions, sibling insults we throw at each other stemming from old childhood pain, and most important, the idea that there is financial lack and hardship and money is stressful and secretive and worth fighting about…..Augh, I thought we took care of all of this shit!

Breathe. Relax shoulders. Think love. And the gift of Reiki. Yes, the answer to all of life, good and difficult. The memories and pictures of last week’s visit flood my mind and fill me with those unpleasant feelings of anxiety, sadness, guilt, shame….. Overly dramatic, perhaps, but my body’s way of telling me these issues are not yet resolved and may hold me back. Childhood experiences, adult experiences with the old family beliefs, affect my choices and perpetuate my fears.
This is where Reiki saves my life, again.

I call in the healing energy, hold it to my heart, and ask for gentle, soothing comfort. I ask to replace the uncovered pain with love and healing energy. This does not make it disappear. It adds new perspective to old wounds. It transforms my view from victim to observer. Painful triggers and memories are easier to look at as an observer-it is more likely to watch or replay in this role as fewer emotions will arise. What was learned? What can be done to change it for next time? What was I needing and not getting? What was the other person needing and feeling?

Reiki balances emotions so that any issue can be viewed from a less traumatic lens. Thinking of family while using Reiki is a tool like no other. My relapses after visiting home are shorter since I have adopted my Reiki practice. And I do believe that while with family, I am able to stay grounded and centered more often than not by calling in Reiki during stressful moments.

Every family has stressful moments. Reiki can give us freedom from the cords that bind us. Feel free to contact me if you have questions about how Reiki can help you break away from the old ways of how you work with your family. http://www.insyncenergy.com. Distance healings are always available.You may discover a whole new world that can include loving and spending time with even the toughest of family members. Family is a big part of life. We can find ways to enjoy all family has to offer us. As I am reminded often, without family, we wouldn’t be here 😉